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McCain for President

McCain was not born in the US but is considered a US citizen anyway, unlike many who are born in the US that the Republican Party wants to consider foreign.

As a proud third-generation employee of the government, McCain is uniquely experienced to be president. His third generation military status uniquely places him to find the best government military solutions for every problem, without the distractions of diplomacy or allowing the free market to work. Like the current president, he entered higher education on a legacy, thus putting him in touch with the problems of the elite he represents. Also like the current president, he has a storied military career, flying planes around the world. At one point his plane got shot down and he no longer flew planes, but was kept in a POW camp. He was tortured for some time during the captivity. This experience was apparently not bad enough to make him unconditionally opposed to torture.

He also has a unique perspective on government medical care. As a third-generation government employee, he has spent his entire life with free access to the government medical facilities. Although he is 71 and claims to be in good health, his experience has shown him that government medical care is not good enough for the general populous, so is absolutely opposed to it.

Some might think a third-generation government employee may not be the best president for a country based on free enterprise, but wait. His second wife, whom he married soon after divorcing his first wife, is the chair of one of the largest beer distributors in the country. As such, McCain has experience with the perks of the corporate life—like luxury corporate jets—which he has used to ferry himself between campaign stops during his bid to become president. He understands the compromises that must be made when growing a business, like how many alcohol related teen deaths are acceptable to maintain a certain profit margin.

As we can see McCain is uniquely qualified to understand the needs of the nation:

• The military can solve all problems.
• The health care system that has kept him so healthy is not adequate or capable of doing the same for the masses.
• American corporations have special problems and must be given significant leeway in their right to earn a profit.

(via /.)